


The Fourth Loss

by Mriana



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22552204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mriana/pseuds/Mriana
Summary: Deanna experiences another loss in her life.  This one more painful than any other.
Relationships: William Riker/Deanna Troi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	The Fourth Loss

**Author's Note:**

> In loving memory of Majel. We will all miss her, yet words alone are not enough to express our feelings. May she rest in peace. 

The Fourth Loss  
  
Will and Deanna had moved to Alaska quite some time ago, because he thought it was a good place to raise children. However, she found it was too cold in comparison to the warmth of Betazed. Sometimes she felt the Alaskan chill to her bones and thought she would never feel warm again.  
  
Tonight was one of those nights, except this time it felt different. It was frigid and devoid of anything solid. However, she knew Will was fine and the children were safe, yet it felt like that of a thousand Betazoids losing something within their very being. It was all wrong and disorienting.  
  
Will had gone to San Francisco for the day and was due to return soon, so that was not the cause of the feelings. Yet the deathly dread had hit her hard in the middle of the night as she felt the coldest chill and shivered under the covers. Warmth had not returned hours later and she could not put a finger on it, but somehow this empty chill was different.  
  
Deanna had put the children to bed and decided to light the fireplace to add more warmth to her surroundings, but it did not fill the void she sense so strongly. The house had its own heating system, but she wanted the cozier feel of a fire tonight in hopes it would make her feel better. However, the feeling of emptiness continued inside her, which in turn made the feeling of the chill even worse. Something was wrong, very wrong. Deanna could not figure out what it was and began to feel lost as she tried to reach out and sense something, but when she attempted to probe her surroundings the feeling was like a sharp pain hitting her and triggered tears in its wake.

Thinking a diversion would help, she downloaded the day's messages onto a PADD so she could sit in front of the fireplace to read them. "Maybe between the fire and news from home I will feel warmer," she thought.  
  
Walking across the room with the PADD in her hand, she pulled a rocker over towards the fire, so she could feel the warmth better. Gasping she thought, "Tonight feels like ice and I can't figure out why. I hope I'm not getting sick."  
  
She sat down in the rocker and activated the PADD. A list of messages popped on the small screen. As another shiver ran through her body, Deanna scrolled through the messages and she saw a message from Betazed. Suddenly, the feeling changed to a dark glacial void, as though an avalanche had buried her alive. "I must be coming down with something," she thought as she tried to shake the feelings of a barren wilderness lying before her.  
  
The message was from Chandra, her best friend back home. She tried to smile as she started to open it, but the emptiness with in her became stronger and she paused. "Mother!" She panicked as though an icy ledge fell from under her while the agonizing cries of a million Betazoids overwhelmed her. "Stop!" she scolded herself. "It's just a letter from Chandra. I'm acting silly. Get a grip on yourself! This is ridiculous even for you! You are too far away to sense such things."  
  
Even so, no matter how much she tried to shake the dreaded atmosphere, it persisted and grew stronger, but she had to know, regardless of what her senses were telling her. As she opened the message and read it, her face became ashen from the acknowledgement of her greatest fear. For what seemed like an eternity to her, Deanna stared out into space, paralysed, as images of her childhood and adulthood passed through her mind.  
  
Finally, her eyes weld up with tears and she let out a loud sob of agony. She could not stop the flow of tears and she began shaking uncontrollably. Her whole body trembled as she tried to read the rest of the letter on the PADD through all the tears.  
  
Will walked into the house and saw Deanna sitting in front of the fireplace staring obliviously at the PADD in front of her. Seeing she was crying and shaking, he became alarmed and ran over to console her. As he knelt down in front of her, she threw her arms around him for all the succour in the universe she could retrieve from him. They were now both on their knees holding each other, as Will tried to no avail to alleviate her suffering.  
  
Deanna screamed violently into his shoulder as Will said with concern in his voice, "Deanna, what's wrong?"  
  
"She's gone, Will!" She shouted through the tears. "Gone!"  
  
"Who is?" He asked softly and gently rubbing her back to comfort her.  
  
"Mother!" She screamed through all the shaking and tears. "I feel so lost and alone! She's not there, Will! I don't know what to do!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Deanna." He said as he continued to hold her and kissed the side of her head. "How?"  
  
"I... I..." She sobbed with strong gasps, "I can't read any more."  
  
Will gently and slowly pushed her back and held out his hand. "May I?"  
  
She released him and gave the PADD to him as she continued to mourn, "I knew she was getting on in years, but I hadn't expected this so soon or I didn't want to believe it would. I hoped she would live on for many more years, but..." With that last word she buried her head back into Will's shoulder and her words became muffled.  
  
As he held her with one hand, he held the PADD in front him and read it aloud.  
  
"Deanna, I know this will come to you as a shock, as it did all of us who knew her. I really don't know how to say this, for I've never had to tell someone such news. It really grieves me to even tell you, but by now I know you must sense something overwhelmingly powerful has happened."  
  
Will took a deep breath as he tried to read the rest of it as difficult as it was, but Deanna stopped him. "Please, I don't want to hear this again," she cried.  
  
Deanna felt her heart in her throat as she cried. The stark void was even greater than before and she clung harder to Will, in hopes of filling the barrenness that laid before her, as Will read the rest to himself.  
  
"I don't know of an easy way to break this to you. Not even if you were not my best friend, but today around 027 hours your mother died, according to Mr. Homn, who wrote the details to all of us, because we were all too distraught to read his thoughts and his sign language was useless to us."  
  
Somehow Will could tell Chandra struggled with writing this letter and was stalling to find words. He tried to choke back his own tears as a lump formed in his throat, but he continued to read the rest of the letter. He felt his eyes flood with water and fought to hold them back.  
  
"Anyway, she lay down early because she was feeling very tired and had complained of light headedness. Mr. Homn apparently did not think a thing of it at the time, for he went about his work as he usually does. He went to bed and when morning came, Lwaxana had not arisen at her usual time. I guess Mr. Homn got concerned, so he checked on her. There was no response. I have no idea how long it took for him to conclude your mother needed to be checked on by a doctor. He did not say."  
  
The tears began to roll down Will's eyes. With all the differences he had with his mother-in-law, he still loved her as if she were his mother. He could feel Deanna's pain as she continued to cry on his shoulder.  
  
"The doctor looked in on her and said she had died in her sleep. He could not contribute her passing to anything but natural causes. Everything within her slowly stopped while she slept."  
  
"Well, at least she went peacefully," Will said to console himself, but he knew he could not say the words aloud, not to his sullenly grieving wife, his Imzadi. Not now at least.  
  
He continued reading through his own tears, "Deanna, I am so sorry. I can't tell you how much I bare your pain of great loss with you. Words cannot explain it. I have to go. Please call me soon, for they want you to confirm the arrangements made for her. I know that is probably very difficult for you right now, but it can't wait. I have to go. I'm very sorry, Deanna. Chandra."  
  
"I am so sorry, Deanna," Will said as he dropped the PADD to the floor and held his wife tightly in his arms and mourned with her.  
  
"Will," she wept, "You and the children are all I have now."  
  
"Sh... It's OK," he told Deanna. "We're here for you and will be for a long time."  
  
Her violent shaking had subsided as Will held her and continued to comfort her as best he could. They grieved together in front of the warmth of the fireplace in each other's arms.  
  
Will felt Deanna's pain concerning her loss and could empathize with her feelings of not having a mother anymore. He understood her statement of him and the children being all she had left. Now, she was the oldest of the Troi family and had no mother and father in this universe.  
  
Deanna tried hard to fill the emptiness within her by hanging onto Will. She was grateful for his presence and his comfort, for she did not know what she would do without her Imzadi at a time like this. If it were not for him, she would not have had anyone at this time in her life.  
  
They sat in front of the fireplace way into the night, unable to sleep. As they held and comforted each other with soothing words, they finally found the strength to talk about times with Lwaxana Troi. Whom, through all the love, arrogance, put-downs, and her odd sort of teasing and humour, they loved her and now missed very dearly, but hoped she was resting in peace.


End file.
